Welcome to ‘How To Raise a Smart Baby’. This provides parents and carers with the latest research and tips on the best ways we know to enhance infant brain development.
While it is important to be a relaxed parent, some parents simply think that a child is either intelligent or they are not (based on their genetic composition). Little do they know, the role the parent plays in the first two years of a baby’s life, greatly influences their future IQ. Here’s how…..
The key developmental period for boosting baby’s brain power is from the third trimester until around two. At birth, a baby’s brain contains 100 billion neurons (equivalent to the number of stars in the Milky Way). And these crucial first years will see the development of trillions of brain-cell connections, called “neural synapses”. Synapses that are not “wired together” by stimulation are pruned and lost during the school years.
When a baby is born, all those neurons in their brain are not connected up in the way they need to be for learning or understanding. What wires up a baby’s brain is you, the adult who interacts with them. You are the teacher and sculptor of your baby’s brain.
Consequently a parent who can spend lots of quality time enriching their baby in their first few years of life is one of the most important factors of baby brain development.
HOW TO RAISE A SMART BABY
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The Easy Way To Creating A Rock Solid Relationship With Your Children Despite The Harsh Experience Of A Divorce!
There are few adults and parents who are not aware of the challenges and potential difficulties that divorce imposes on children. There are literally thousands of books written about the impact of divorce on kids, both from a positive and a negative perspective. The good news out of this rather depressing research is that parents, through their actions both towards their children as well as towards each other, have a huge influence on how children will adjust to the divorce both in the short and long term.
No parent going through a divorce needs the added stress, anxiety and worry of how their actions are negatively affecting their children. By understanding how to minimize the negative aspects of divorce for children, knowing the typical responses of children to divorce, and working with the other parent to maintain the loving, nurturing environment that a child needs through the divorce, parents can help children to adjust to their new lifestyle. Stressing parent co-operation and communication with regards to raising the child or children is critical, but so is being civil, respectful and positive towards the other parent with regards to their abilities to be a wonderful Mom or Dad to the child.
Many parents struggle to help their children cope with the emotional pain of divorce and learning to live with Mom and Dad in two separate homes. Very few children, or parents for that matter, find that the time they get to spend together is enough. Mom and Dad working together to accommodate each other schedules and the schedules and needs of the kids will help in addressing some of the inequity that is inherent in co-parenting through a divorce and after.
Divorce is no longer an uncommon occurrence in most countries of the world. While countries in North America tend to have higher divorce rates than other developed and developing countries, there are still some common trends and numbers to divorce around the world.
It is estimated that the overall divorce rate in the United States is approximately 51% and in Canada it is 48%; Japan’s divorce rate is about 27%, Australia is around 40% and Great Britain has a divorce rate of about 38%. The number of divorces per year tends to be increasing in many areas, with second and subsequent marriages having a higher overall divorce rate than first marriages.
As the number of divorces continues to rise in most areas and countries, so does the cultural acceptance of divorce. In the United States alone about 1.5 million children will experience divorce every year, and these are only kids that are recognized through the courts. In many cases such as step-parent divorce, the child may not be included in these numbers because they are not included in the dissolution of the marriage. Step-parent divorces can be just as problematic for the child, however, especially if they were close to the step-parent and saw them as a support person in their life.
PARENTING THROUGH DIVORCE
The Easy Way To Creating A Rock Solid Relationship With Your Children Despite The Harsh Experience Of A Divorce!
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Having a good education is very important, as it will eventually contribute positively to a better life for the individual. Therefore most parents take the trouble and time to search for the best school for their children to ensure their good start in life. Get all the info you need here…
Schooling Selection Strategies
A Parent’s Guide To Their Children’s Schooling
In the quest to find the best and most suitable schooling environment for the child, certain criteria need to be examined and met. The following are some of the areas that would usually be covered as part of the standard elements within the search requirements:
– The Basics
Some schools are more known for their academic excellent while others may be noted for the excellent sporting programs. The parent would really have to decide which would be more suitable to suit the needs of themselves and the child in question.
If this decision proves to be a challenge at this stage, then finding a school which is competent in both areas would also be acceptable. Convenience would also usually be another point to look into as no parent really wants their child to have to sit through a one hour ride just to get to school and another one hour ride to get home. Thus the point of location would have to ideal to facilitate the convenience need. This is also important from an emergency angle where the parent would be able to reach the child’s school within the shortest time possible.
Taking the time to check up on the school by speaking to others who have children already attending the facility would also be another way to gauge the suitability of the school. There is also the need to check the requirements if any that need to be met in order to be successfully admitted to the school.
Finding out as much as possible about the schools within the suitable radius to fit the convenience of both child and parent would be a good start in the right direction to choosing a school for the child. This should then be followed with a more in depth research as to what the schools identified can offer and how these will benefit the child in question.
– What Is Needed
There are several things to consider when it comes to the future of the child at the eventual choice made and the following are just some areas that should ideally be covered:
– Perhaps the first would be to contact the local educational centers to find out about all the various schools within the ideal perimeter to suit the initial need to limit the distance between the school and the place of residence of the family.
– Once the particular school has been identified, then the parent would have to make a more in depth study as to the suitability and comforts it can provide for the child who is going to be enrolled.
– Some children may need special attention for various different reasons, and the school chosen should be able to cater to these needs adequately. The physical and mental comfort of the child at the school should ideally be an important factor when making the choice for the ideal school.
– The services extended outside the actual study curriculum such as outdoor activities would also have to be considered if the child is particularly fond of the outdoors.
– Some children need to have this kind of learning experience to ensure they are kept interested and stimulated on the idea of education. Considering if the child will eventually be comfortable with the other children attending the school is also another element to be considered. Some children are simply not able to adjust well to other cultures and styles that are foreign to them.
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Story by “Kieran”.
Kieran and his friends wanted to go to Stockport where house. a ghost filled building. he watched as the walls closed in but In astonishment he survived but explosions where closing in. He jumped into a hole and on to a panel but things got worse […]
Story by “Unknown”.
Radish road is a weird place but two brothers were willing to go in the middle of town in the hall. Marshall and Dan were just walking up a road in town and bang he was being chased by a tornado the only place they could go was inside so they did. the building ripped apart and death spread like butter hey you wanna here a joke owww as he kicked him you dumb person.
It was… well, the first paper was the information about the people.
This company is called Distructionis which is a secret organisation to destroy certain objects such as the statue of liberty and the moon. They conquer these objects so that the presidents, prime ministers, kings and queens would be forced to give up their power and hand it over to them. This company is super dangerous. This company is also responsible for the major crimes happening in Russia and India. Furthermore, this company has led to the death of the king of Atlantis. Disructionis has to be stopped.
The second paper had a diagram of the laser; it said that the weakness of the laser was its connection between the shuttle and the laser. I looked at Oscar, and then we knew what was going on. We looked at the sky, it was getting dark. “Well, it’s only Wednesday” I said. We strolled home upon the dusty road. I also had other troubles, school.
The next day was very surprising. Oscar fell out of the bed and landed on me. The clock rang and fell into my water. The water spilled out of the jug and onto the radiator. The radiator made a loud boom and started bursting fire. I ran downstairs and grabbed my breakfast. Dad ran in. “what’s happened!” “I don’t know!” I said. A huge fireball flew down the stairs. “The house is collapsing!” Dad screamed. We ran upstairs and found Oscar dialling the firemen.
“Firemen! The house is on fire!” said Oscar. There was fire everywhere. I jumped over some fire and went into my bedroom. I clutched my bag with everything in it and threw it into my safe. Dad ran downstairs and told us to go outside. I also clutched the safe. The fire brigades reach the house and pulled the hose pipe. Water zoomed out of the pipe and into the window. I sneeked out to school. I grabbed my bags while Oscar grabbed his. We took a small path near the school. The bell hadn’t rang yet.
Austin was there, he was my arch enemy. He always makes me a fool of me. Every time I go near him, he either throws me in the mud or punches me, always beating me up every time. I tried to avoid him but he saw me. His face and the gang was enough to make me fall on the floor and act like a scared cat. He grabbed me on the shoulder and pulled me up. He was very strong, he goes to gym every weekend and trains every day. Then, he shot his tongue and threw me. I skidded but managed to land on my feet. “Rrrr! I’ll get my hands on you idiot!” he shouted. I ran through the corridor and into my class. The teacher was there. When Austin saw the teacher, he ran away.
“What are you doing here?” asked Miss Johnson. “I was being chased by Austin” I answered.” Very well, stay here until the others come, the bell’s going to ring anyway”. After a few seconds. I saw a crowd of kids racing down the corridor. I sat down. The second person to sit down was Oscar.
The first lesson was math, I loved math. We had to find out b squared times by 73 equals 267341. Austin stared at me through the whole lesson. Next were some other subjects then dinner. I sat down with my two best friends, Charlotte and matt. They were my best friends since we were in nursery. “So, what’s going on?” asked charlotte. Then, at that moment, Oscar came to the table and said we had a great adventure. We both told them how we had a close one against the tall thin man and the plan to trash the syrcalmock drive.
“That is the Distructionis“replied matt. “They forced my dad to go to their jail”. “You can help us” said Oscar. They both stood up and replied yes. We all talked about matt’s dad.
“So, where did they put your dad?” I said. “In jail, at their secret base. I know where it is though”. “I have an electric key which can change into any key” said charlotte. We all hatched a plan to save matt’s dad.
At the end of school, we followed matt to a secret corridor. It led to a small air vent.
While in the small air vent, we heard a crackle, then a bump. The air vent then began to bend. We all fell out. A small map was beside us.
All the worlds short cuts:
One from Dublin to Canada, go into boldcross roundabout. From USA to secret base of Distructionis, basement of the statue of liberty. London to USA, go to London eye electric system.
We ran back home and pleaded our dad to go and see the London eye. Then, he decided. He said ok. We took dad car to go to the eye. I saw the beautiful London eye as it turned around. I carefully held my back pack tight and walked to the basement of the London eye. There were thousands of wires. I went passed a few until we saw the door. I connected a few wires into the door. I then heard someone calling my name.
I went up and saw dad. I told him everything and he agreed to join but come back before tomorrow. I didn’t tell him though about the space shuttle, laser and destruction of the moon. I told charlotte, matt and Oscar about it. We entered the door and we saw…
To be continued
The plan, an enormous shuttle armed with a giant laser. The laser pointed to the moon. I gulped. “Oscar! They’re going to blast the moon to pieces!” I screamed. I stared at the large paper. It was actually a letter.
Dear Mr. Hilton,
I would like to inform you about the progress of the shuttle. It is nearly done. The workers only need to make the engine and fit in the laser. Other than that, the shuttle is all going to plan. The laser will need a syrcalmock drive to make it work. We have found a location where there is a powerful syrcalmock drive.
The location is at the building site near Glasgow. Be there, we have to hurry. The moon will be in the right place at 7:45 at Friday.
“It’s Wednesday today!” we shouted. We packed our bags, “Oscar, you go to Thomas wastron’s house and I’ll go to the building site in Glasgow.” I said. “OK Joseph” said Oscar. We ran outside and that’s where we slpit. We were going to meet at the pub.
Continue of chapter 3, Joseph’s adventure,
I ran to the road and got a taxi. It was quite boring waiting in the taxi but it was ok. Once I reached the building site. I jumped off the taxi and slammed the door. I peered through the fence and saw a huge battery on the floor.
That was the syrcalmock drive. I took my knife and cut through the fence. Then, a builder stared at me. Then, other builders stared at me. I had a bad feeling about it. After a few minutes, they started chasing me! I ran into a nearby shop. I huddled in a jumper to hide me. I heard a few builders step inside and look for me. I heard one say “He’s not in here, maybe on the other one” while I held my breath. When they were gone, I took a great sigh. As I opened the door, the builders were not in sight. I raced to where the hole was then climbed through.
I slid down to reach the drive. While grabbing the syrcalmock drive, I pulled as hard as I could. It took me ten minutes to move it a centimetre. I was about to give up but then I saw a crane. I hopped inside and pulled some switches. It took the drive up and into the sewers. That would have held it off. I took the taxi again and went straight to the pub.
Continue of chapter 3, Oscar’s adventure,
So, sneaking into a house would be awesome, but do not try this ever, I’m only doing this because I’m trying to save the world. Now, I arrived at his house. I sneaked into the basement and looked around. I then tiptoed upstairs; I heard Mr. Hilton and Thomas wastron talking to each other. They were saying about the crime in the Concrete building…
“There was a commotion”
“Someone broke into the building and stole the blueprints!”
“We must find it or the plan to destroy the moon will be over!”
. I crawled pass them and found an office. There was thousands of paper. I took two pieces of paper and took a look at the laptop. Immediately, Thomas walked into the office. I grabbed the laptop and Jumped through the window. I landed in a pile of leaves. As fast as I could, I raced to the pub.
They were catching up with me, I jumped over a fence and raced down the hill. I stopped and hid inside a crate. They looked around. Then, they left. I jumped up and ran to the pub
Near end of chapter 3, together
We had never seen anything like it .We ate our sandwiches while looking at it. The papers contained very special information. It was…
To be continued
Ideally all parents should have an idea of what to expect at various development stages their child is going to experience. Armed with this knowledge, the parent will be better prepared to ensure this development is experiences with the least possible problems as possible.
Through the knowledge gained on child development, the parent will be able to help the child when things are not going as it should be or it will allow the parent to pull back if they are expecting too much from the child at any given stage.
Information on the activities and achievements will usually be quite well documented for the parent to make easy reference should they need information.
There is also information on how to direct the child to ensure the proper development targets are reached successfully and effectively.
Most of the information available on the development basics of a child would be focused on the following aspects:
There would usually be an approximate timetable on the prenatal development that would be the ideal benchmark to measure against.
There would also be information on the normal stages of child development which would ideally be broken into stage of about 5 years each, starting from birth.
There is also information available on the general development sequence to be experienced from the toddler stage through to the preschool stage.
These stages would also cover information on various levels of the intellectual, language, social interaction, physical, and any other development that would be deemed important by the parent.
This is especially useful for the parent who is concerned about ensuring the child’s growth rate is according to the norm and does not want to be pressured into forcing the child to grow in areas where there is no need for such pressure.
– Child Development Dillemma
A Look At Childhood Development Stages.
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Most individuals will have an adept idea of just how much our parents, and our raising, affect us as grownups. But there’s a strange twist to what we have come to anticipate. Here is a basic verbal description, with all the extra material removed, leaving behind only the main phrases:
– My parents stated I was a spoiled boy/girl.
– I would like to be unspoiled.
– To be unspoiled, I can’t oppose my parents. It’s wrong to make them wrong.
– Consequently, to be unspoiled, I have to be spoiled.
Naturally, this “spoiled” can be anything – unintelligent, useless, unworthy, plump, a liar, furious, the list is perpetual. However the thought is the same: even if we have not run across our parents in decades, in a lot of ways we’re still youngsters, living under their regulations. We’re all the same looking for their blessing or disfavor in ways that don’t always add up with our logical mind.
For each one of us, there’s a association between our early household dynamics and experiences and our up to date mental attitude and conclusions. Many individuals don’t recognize how their histories affect their adult lives, or how their choices in individuals, repetitive states of affairs, and conclusions — even their emotional responses — are connected to those early damaging experiences, playing a major role in their current sadness.
For these individuals and 1000000s like them, a bit much time is committed to duplicating the despicable dynamics of childhood in a vain effort to repair or deal with deep hurt and yearnings. Too frequently they use their emotional hurt to control other people or excuse their own incorrect and destructive behaviors. Some turn to therapy, only to discover themselves entrapped in their self-pitying victim mode, robbed of optimism, self-assurance, and development.
This may sound unintelligent, but please consider it a bit. When I first distinguished this unusual line of abstract thought in myself, a long time ago, it made no sense, and I believed I was misguided. I did not do anything with what I discovered, so this restriction remained within me for far too long. However I was of late reading an inspirational book that described this precise same paradox – and it said that it was among the most basic things seen in therapy, if you recognize what to look for.
When we can discover this in ourselves, matters begin to shift, and we slowly get to be our own person. Please take a minute now to consider this, to ascertain how it applies in your own life. There’s a inclination to get meshed into examples, so it’s a beneficial idea to look into it before we talk about it any further. Think carefully now about your own childhood experiences.
In the following downloadable free ebook, we will examine the fact that you can, if not defeat all the past pain, you can at least proceed through your times of trouble with some sense of command. You can’t truly choose emotional responses as they’re somewhat irrational and impetuous. But you are able to supervise your focus of thought, your conclusions, and your actions. You can Say yes to your life despite everything!
– Parental Reflections
Facing Up To Your Mommy And Daddy Issues.
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Top Parenting Teenagers Tips
Why You Need This Information
Everyone warns us about the terrible two’s, but a toddler does not match the strife caused once children hit the terrible teens. Your precious children change from idolizing your every move to leaving you in the dust. Everything is suddenly about them – their friends, their phone, their facebook. Parents respond by preaching nagging and threatening, often causing teens to feel less respected and become insolent or withdrawn. It is a never ending cycle. Though it is impossible to avoid the tug of war, you can make the days smoother with communication.
The adolescent years are naturally a time of conflict for parents and teenagers. It’s when kids grow into a distinct person. Teens naturally start pulling away, so they can make decisions independent of the mold their parents expect. What is a time of self-discovery for the teen can be a nightmare for parents. During these important formative years, parents want make sure their kids maintain the values they worked hard to instill. Teenagers naturally resist and argue in an attempt to assert their forming beliefs. The bumpy interaction between parents and teenagers often creates a time of confusion in the family. This report gives concrete tips for parenting your teen. But, first let’s start by understanding the mind of a teenager.
Dramatic changes in your child’s behavior are red flags they have crossed into the teen years. Teenagers start to see the world in a whole new light as they start to think more rationally and abstract. They are trying to decide who they are and how they fit into the world. Hairstyles clothing and attitudes change as they try on new identities. Kids who would do anything to please their parents begin finding additional role models to fit their new image. As a result, they naturally start pushing away from their parents to be more independent. Remembering how confusing and difficult the adolescent years are can help us assert a healthy approach to parenting our teens.
Teens have a lot of issues to deal with that seem trivial to adults, but are earth.
shattering events for them. Remember acne, voice changes, physical development? Your high spirited child may suddenly be moody for no apparent reason. At times, they don’t even understand why. All of these changes are not just physical but hormonal. There are emotional ups and downs that are unavoidable. Talk to them about these changes and let them know you empathize. Teens sometimes have a hard time realizing the world is not dishing out a personal attack. Let them know you understand Confide an appropriate story about your teen years, so they know you have been there, understand their angst and are there for them. Studies show teens with a closer bond with their parents have an overall more positive attitude.
Adolescents need their privacy. They are starting to form boundaries and are more sensitive to their individuality and personal space. Don’t be surprised if they plaster their pastel walls with poster and other “clutter.” It is their way of shedding their old selves and expressing the person they are becoming. Coming in to clean the room is the equivalent of having a spy on the loose. If it is imperative they keep their room clean, let them be responsible for their own space. This doesn’t mean you don’t keep tabs on what they are doing or who they are doing it with. So, give them the respect and privacy a teen needs until they give you a reason for suspicion.
Despite teenage issues with parents, there are still times when they will need their parents help and support. Don’t try to solve all their problems. Instead, listen to their situation completely and then ask “How would you like to handle this?” Hear them out and repeat back what they said to show you respect their thoughts. Offer suggestions and if not life-threatening allow them to make the mistake. If everything works out, credit them with praise and if not be there as a support system. They will learn to handle life problems, while knowing you trust and respect the mature individual.
You can’t accomplish anything if no one is listening. Communication is the cornerstone for a positive relationship with your teens. Here are a few tips to start opening the lines of communication.
• Build Trust – When you give your opinion or ask your teen questions their first reaction is you don’t trust them. Build trust early. Show trust by giving them some age appropriate freedoms. However, make it clear that if the trust is broken, freedoms will be taken away until the trust is rebuilt.
• Practice Honesty- At this age, adolescents develop their thinking skills. They are very aware of what you say and are sensitive to consistency. If you say something and do another, they will recognize your actions as two faced. By being dishonest you will lose their respect and your ability to lead.
• Foster Relationships – Demonstrate that their opinions matter and that you are interested in their life. Since teens are dialed into the here and now, ask questions they find relevant. Ask them what they like to do for fun or where they may want to live after high school. A back and forth conversation helps break through the walls build a bond the lecturing cannot break through. It’s best if you don’t wait till they are older to open the lines of communication. The earlier you open the lines of communication the more likely they will stay connected during the teen years.
• Stay Calm- Teenagers are still formulating their opinions and will take every
opportunity to test their arguing skills. Avoid falling into a power struggle. Listen to their opinions even if you do not always agree with their perspective. The key is choosing battles wisely. Yelling and getting angry is an invitation for a battle royal. Keep the volume down and stay calm to show you have control of the situation. They will be more likely to mirror your behavior and have an “adult” conversation.
• Spend Time- Close relationships are produced by spending time together. With today’s busy schedules, it can be a challenge to spend time with the family. However, it is crucial to squeeze out regular time out to spend with your teen and keep the lines of communication open. Hold non-negotiable family times, and attempt to have dinner together as often as possible to ensure quality face time with your kids.
Every Day Parenting Tips
The first step is opening the lines of communication. Once that is accomplished, you should be better equipped to deal with the everyday issues that arise. Here are a few tips to build a positive framework.
• Encourage Activities for Personal Growth- Teens maintain a better attitude when they participate in activities allowing for personal expression. Extra curricula activities like art programs, sports or band help teens find value in themselves. Evidence has also shown teens who participate in community service engage in less risky behaviors and receive higher grades.
• Allow Teens to Have a Part- time Job It will teach them important skills for the future such as accountability, time and money management, the ability to communicate effectively and be on time.
• Build a Close Relationship – Remember, communication is key. Teens are persuaded by the people they spend time with the most. By spending time, parents contribute the most powerful impact on a child’s attitude, behavior and life approach. Form close bonds by making family dinners a time to connect. Talk to your teen about issues that are important to them such as school or their friends. Resist the urge to be a know-it-all. Instead, actively listen to their opinions and reflect what they are saying back to them so they are aware you value their thoughts. Teens with a close bond to their parents are proven to do better academically and engage in less destructive behavior.
• Monitor Media- According to a report by the Council of Economic Advisors teens spend 7 ½ hours each day exposed to media from tv, the internet, video games, and magazines. Teens who spend more time plugged in, are more distant from their parents. Consider restricting tv time during designated times or days and use the time to do a mutually enjoyable activity together. Use tv time to connect with your teen. Watch their favorite show with them and after the show is over ask their opinion about situations viewed. It is a wonderful way to hear their perspective, discuss uncomfortable issues, and teach.
• Provide structure- Teens may act unhappy when you lay down house rules. Have realistic expectations for your teen to meet such as good grades, completing chores, and curfews. In reality teens understand expectations and realize boundaries show you care about them.
• Allow Teenagers to Make Decisions – It is normal for teens to adopt their own values about life and form their own opinions. Listen to them when they have a problem and ask them how they would solve the problem. Offer guidance but allow them to make mistakes as like as it is a safe environment. By giving teens reasonable freedom to make mistakes so they can prepare to solve future dilemmas.
• Grant Privacy – Good teenage advice for parents is to give teens privacy. Giving
them their own space shows you trust them. Though you should always know where they are going, when they are returning and with whom there is no reason to ask about every detail. You cannot be with your teen at all times, instead keep tabs on their activities to make sure they are safe. Respect their privacy unless they do something that makes you have to revoke those freedoms.
Step Parenting Tips
Considering one out of three Americans is a member of a blended family, step parenting teenagers is a significant issue. Parenting adolescents can be difficult even when they are your own blood. Their desire for independence, and possible resentment, only intensifies a less than ideal situation.
Here are a few tips to have a positive influence on your step teens and maintain peace in the home.
• Don’t Play Favorites – It is natural to have stronger feelings toward your biological children than your step kids. Just make certain those feelings do not move over to your parenting style. Teenagers are very sensitive to fairness and consistency. Treat the step kids with the same consideration and respect you do your own children. You can build a connection with the step teen by separating your actions with your feelings until real caring develops.
• Spend Time- It is important to build a relationship with stepchildren that you both enjoy. Take the role of skill teacher or older friend. In this role you can play sports with them, or teach something you are good at the teen also likes. Spend one-on-one time with them without the biological children around so you can pick up on their interest. Step teens will probably resist these efforts at first, but over time you can build your own relationship based on mutual interests, separate from their biological parents.
• Step Back – Depending on the views of the spouse, consider taking on a less parental role. Step parenting teenagers is complicated. The best idea is to leave the discipline to the biological parent. Once a closer bounds form, it may be possible to share this role. You role as step-parent is appropriate behind the scenes by helping with discipline decision making and supporting the spouse.
• Show Trust – Trust is important to teenagers. Find ways to send the message that you trust them. For instance, maybe allow them to borrow your car on a date night. These concessions go a long way to a teen and will help you build a connection.
• Be a Team- It is not unusual for two people to have different ideas on how to parent children. However, teens are fighting for independence and will use signs of division to their advantage. While the biological parent should take the lead in discipline, blended families must have a consistent message for all children. Sit down and make a plan with your spouse. If you are unable to come to agreement, take a parenting class with the spouse so you can come up with a plan that works for both of you.
Step parenting children can feel like walking on eggshells. But, in time a relationship built on mutual respect is possible. Remember you are likely coming into the picture after the teen has experienced many losses. You may encounter strong resistance as the outsider and should not take their displaced anger personally. Unfortunately, the Brady Bunch ideal of instant love is a myth. However, after time you and your step-teens can warm to each other and form a healthy blended family.
Entitled Teens Parenting Tips
Parenting difficult teenagers usually boils down to one word, entitlement. Entitled teens think their parents owe them simply for gracing the world with their presence. These are the kids who give hard working parents the silent treatment, or worse, have a hissy fit if they don’t get a $300 dollar pair of jeans. A combination of indulgent parents, the consumer culture and emotional pampering hampers teens ability to develop into adulthood. Self-absorbed, entitled teens are difficult to parent. However, just as they were spoiled children can be raises as gracious and independent teens by following a few guidelines.
• Limit Media- Social networking such as Facebook, youTube and my space encourages self-absorption and time away from the family. Hours are spent reading messages and posting the details of their lives Children spend hours posting photos and descriptions of their daily activities. The self-centered focus is encouraged further by tv programs, print ads, commercials and movies that sexualize kids, promote excessive spending and value fame without talent. It has been shown, teens who spend more time with their parents, are more likely to have high self-esteem. Have designated hours when teens are allowed to watch television. Use the time ay from media to do activities with the family everyone can enjoy. Family activities take away the me, me, me’s and allows teens to relate to other members of the family.
• Set Expectations and Consequences – Expectations have positive and negative
consequences. Indulged teen s don’t understand how personal effort is directly connected to the outcome. Set realistic expectations and stick to a system of reward and punishment. For example, if they want gas for the car make sure they complete their chores. Then they will be better prepared for how the real world works.
• Require a Part-time Job – Spoiled children think anything they want somehow magically appears. A part-time or summer job gives teens a sense of accomplishment and earned
independence. Earning their own money helps teenagers learn the value of a dollar and appreciate their material items. They will begin to learn firsthand that anything
worthwhile takes effort. Being part of the workforce will also help them acquire life skills like punctuality, organization and working as a team they can use as an adult.
• Have Teens Volunteer – Let children broaden their view of the world from what only personally affects them. By volunteering they can take the focus off of themselves and help others. It will also give them an appreciation for what is provided by knowing there is always someone who has less. No matter what their age or abilities there is an organization where they can help out after school or on the weekends. The experience will help them develop compassion and a broader understanding of the meaning of life.
• Be Authoritative – Due to wanting to be their child’s friend or feelings of guilt for not spending time with their kid’s, parents adopt permissive parenting styles. Studies show this lenient approach creates entitled character traits in teens. An authoritative
parenting style creates clear boundaries your teen must honor. You are doing your child a disservice if they are not taught life’s social hierarchy. They must learn before adulthood that bullying or whining will not likely win them the big promotion.
Parenting a difficult teenager is a challenge if they have been indulged since childhood. For extra help, there are a number of very effective books on the market to help you parent your child through the tough teen years.
Even when it seems like they are paying you no mind, parents have a great deal of influence as teens weigh decisions. By opening the lines of communications parents and teenagers can build an understanding to help them through these difficult years. For extra help, there are many quality books available on the market.
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