A Single Parent’s Guide To Successful Parenting.
The Transition And New Circumstance…
“The transition and new circumstance – journeying down the path of the single parent”. You are also growing and changing throughout this process. You will realize it, your kids will know and see it, as will others. This is another change you and everyone around you have to deal with as well, on top of everything else.
You might also feel anxious, lonely, and angry or evoke these emotions in your child/family. Again this is quite normal and natural behavior.
“Seeing things from the child’s point of view”. This is not only all about you either. Try and see things thought the eyes of your child sometime and whole new worlds of understanding and possibilities will open for you.
“A new path and survival plan for single parents – rewards and challenges.
We have spoken a lot in theory about what happens to you when faced with these situations. Now we get to the more practical WHAT DO I DO NOW, NEXT, IN MY CASE TYPE OF QUESTIONS?
“SETTLING IN AS INDIVIDUALS AND A NEW FAMILY UNIT”
There are so many, that it is probably possible to write one whole book on this topic alone. We are opting to take a little less ‘negative’ approach to this. Rather focusing on the process and outcome than the surrounding, complexities and factors, uphill battles and obstacles some and all of us might specifically face.
Here are some examples:
Getting everything done, on time, being where you need to be, do what you have to do and stay sane through it all. Finding the financial means (food, boarding/housing, transportation, food, clothing and providing necessities of life, safe place to stay, live and play) Baby-sitting and daycare, employment and income, support and other family-related challenges.
Emotionally supporting your kids, while and despite your world crumpling before your eyes. Being and providing the stability although you do not feel you can or have it in you. Coping with loss and change and the new roles and responsibilities of being a sole custodian and major care-giver, provider and head of the family.
Rewards: Life does go on! You can do it!
Together with your kids you are embarking on reclaiming and building your life together. You are embracing your future with a positive attitude, hope and a plan of action. Renewed connection, deepening love and caring relationship with your kids.
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Little Thomas Coleing was being put to bed as it was 8 o’clock. But suddenly a giant ball fell in his room and exploded into pieces. Eventhough there was a little ball left, Thomas touched it and a watch went on his arm. Suddenly he got transported to a weird place.
“Cool!” Thomas said excitedly as a small grey thingy was showing him around.
“So as you can see, this is innitiolia, and it is coronation day, so everyone get ready, OH! I almost forgot, your leading scienctist, 1st man guy,,”
“Hello boss, everything seems to be in order for your coronation,” said a young man called 1st man guy. “And, he is meant to be a adult,” he muttered. Then they took Thomas to the entrance of TJC towers.
Lots of tiny creatures called galvins and humans came to see the corenation. “TJC, by degree of the leaders, we have chosen you to be our most respected and head of the leaders and be King of…” the head galvin, Azmuth said
“I have one guestion to all of you in, whatever your planet’s name is, WHO IS TJC!” inturupted Thomas
” He will need some work one,” said 1st man guy.
Years later TJC was the best hero ever and he was relaxing in school, “I like it here, don’t you guys,” TJC said, but something was wrong at school as no one was paying attention to class because of a new kid. Some one had to do something, TJC, Ciaran, Matthew, Rowan, Noah, Daniel, John and Josh decided what to do.
“Hey buffy, yes you in the shorts, catch me if you can!” said TJC’s friends. Meanwhile TJC was breaking the caniisters keeping everyone else in.
“I will save you guys,” he said. But it was to late. The new kid had TJC
“Hello Mr Buffy, it is great to see you,” TJC said.
“TJC, IS TIME TO BE KILLED!” said the new kid.
TJC hit his bell and a galvin poped out his head.
“What the heck,” said TJC
“There is much to learn about the innitiolia wars.
The gate opened. There it was, the path leading to the door. Oscar stared at the map. “Looking confused? Let’s see” I said. There were a lot of mines. One in front of us, one to the right and one to the left. We tiptoed across the field of mines until we reached the door. It sparkled brightly as the sun shone across the turquoise sky. “We’ve got loads of time” I said. We entered into the building. The giant building inside was a pile of stones. Like a broken building but it wasn’t demolished. Near the stones on the left was the sign. It was the same as the other ones. We came into an elevator and took a lift. The elevator stopped at the top floor.
There were many rooms. We check the first one. There was a desk with paper. Not any old paper, that paper had the sign. “I think everyone’s gone” I said. “Yes, I think so too”. There were other rooms like that too. We crept through the hallway until we reached an enormous room. I peeked inside. Inside was a giant pile of paper. It had the sign labelled on all the sheets. Oscar rummaged into the paper then searched inside the drawers for anything interesting. He found a watch, paper and a blueprint.
At that moment, we heard footsteps. We opened a cabinet and squished ourselves in. A tall thin man wearing an army suit entered the room and sat down. He searched through the pile of papers. Then, he took a loud gasp. Already, I and Oscar had taken his paper and blueprint. He was furious and stammered out of the office. We tried to get out of the cabinet as we were very stuck. Before we could say no, the whole cabinet fell down and broke to pieces.
Then, the man turned around and headed straight to his office. I opened my spy back pack and took out my toy dart gun and shot the man in the chest. “RUN! HE’S DOWN BUT NOT FOR LONG!” I shouted. We raced to the elevator, got off and ran outside. The mines were still there, though we didn’t care about it and ran. We sped down the walkway and opened the door to the house.
Dad was there with our tea. “Had an adventure?” asked dad. I nodded after Oscar did. After tea, we walked upstairs and opened the back pack. I grabbed the paper and blueprint. That was when we saw it…
To be continued
The following are some of the basic discipline philosophies that are usually introduced to a child from a very young age:
Good discipline is not about working out punishments, as this does not really teach the child about the actual negativity of the act that required some discipline attention.
Instead it really teaches the child that the stronger component in the equation usually get to dictate and cause the weaker one to simply follow along.
Good discipline measures are meant to teach a child right from wrong and not simple address the wrong. Making the child understand self control and socially acceptable behavior is one way of encouraging the method of good discipline.
The parent will show agreement of good behavior with praising and encouragement and will usually address bad behavior with the opportunity to discipline using respect, patience and good problem solving skill as opposed to simply working out punishment.
Good discipline is not about going through the process of a power struggle. When a child is much younger it may seem acceptable to use this kind of discipline but as the child grows older it would definitely be much more difficult to use this style as the older child will more likely retaliate, thus making the already difficult situation worse.
Good discipline does not mean making the child feel insulted or suing demeaning elements to cause hurt. Using styles such as yelling and name calling will not help the child in any positive way.
– Discipline Dynamics
A Helpful Guide To Positive Discipline Methods
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You’ll want to prepare them for kindergarten before they go so that way everything is just review to them. They will stay ahead of the class and be able to learn new material, giving them a higher advantage compared to the other kids.
Most moms and dads don’t have a lot of time to educate their children and create the core skills that are needed in the real world. Even if you don’t have time, there are ways of getting around this. For example, you can pick up a few fun learning materials that they will play with on their own.
With our technology today, they are perfectly capable of learning on their own. Also, by doing small things such as reading for them, you will prepare them for a brighter future. Why not go over the words with them or point to unfamiliar objects and have them sound it out. You’d be surprised with what they can learn.
It is important that you stay calm with them while teaching. This experience should be fun for them so don’t let it seem like work. If they don’t understand something, you can move onto the next subject. Toddlers or kids will easily become bored with the same subject.
Some parents will raise their tone when teaching a child and we suggest that you don’t do this. You should never become frustrated if they cannot learn something. Instead, taking your time and going a different route is better.
Toddlers and kids are extremely sensitive and this is why you should always have patience with them. Once your child goes to their first day of kindergarten, you won’t have to worry about them falling behind. They will be ready to conquer the world and the teacher will be impressed with what they can do.
By making educational choices for your children, you can leave a good impression as a parent. Generally, kids who are educationally inclined will have an easier time socializing and communicating with other kids. This means that they’ll be able to make a few good friends and won’t be lonely in their class. For most parents, this is very important. Life is all about communicating with others.
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It is one of the most powerful things any person alive can do, to choose to raise a child. Whether he or she is a genetically related child or one you have gained from another family, a child is a life long commitment. It’s worse than a puppy!
There is a well known saying that to have a child is to wear your heart forever outside your body. TO some extent that is true. Think teenage angst was bad? It’s noting on the first time you have to deal with your own child’s heartbreak!
With our busy lives it is so easy to become geared up to making sure our children have all the essentials covered, such as food, shelter, learning to read and write, and all those important jobs done, that we forget that so much of what our children need us for is for us to impart a spark of desire in them to succeed, to become all they were made to be.
It’s the drive of many parents to watch their child surpass them in their life in some way. Whether it is with a talent, a discovered passion, or their standard of living, children should be able to combine what they learn from our mistakes, and our life lessons with the lessons and opportunities they themselves face and collate them together to succeed.
To have a successful child we need to create a childhood that breeds success. The best part about this is it doesn’t cost you thousands of dollars in private school fees or in plenty of extra curricular activities. In fact with just a little time, some listening and a whole lot of talking you can beat those things in most part hands down.
Helping a child succeed in today’s world is a little different than it was a few generations ago. Back then, it was considered wise to teach your child to become a salary and wage earner, working in a stable job from the moment they left school until retirement.
Success was measured by how long you stayed in the same job. Consistency and stability were the favoured attributes.
Then it was all about working your way up, about starting out in the business, any business and working your way up to the top, not worrying about whose toes you may step on on the way.
More recently things have changed. The more recent generations coming out of school accept they will probably have at least four to five career changes over the course of their life. They know how to flaunt their talents and sell themselves and aren’t too scared to do it.
These kids, the ones who succeed today, are good at finding the gaps in the market and driving towards them. They’ll walk from a job that doesn’t offer them a good mix of lifestyle opportunities, perks and career advancement. They often prefer to work to contract than be tied to a permanent position. Security and consistency aren’t words in their employment vocabulary.
This is important t understand as you look at raising your own children. This current generation seeking employment may have different attributes than the one your child will be in, but it’s likely to be more in mine with how it will be than the generations of your parents and of yourself.
Our children today are growing up with a very different world view than the one we once had. They want to be self employed, own their own businesses, and pursue creative endeavors. While of course some children still veer to traditional roles, the majority of children feel attracted to roles that were previously seen as just for those creative types. Even jobs in IT can be incredibly interactive and creative, and children in our technological ages are attracted to them.
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I was walking down the road. Ok, I was swiftly strolling down the dusty road. Oscar, my brother, was sitting next to me. “Oi! Joseph, come here. I’ve got something. I peeked into Oscar’s hand. There was a dead rat. Oscar’s fascinated with animals, big or small, dead or alive. This time, he spotted a rat. A dead one. We were walking back home from a long school day, from homework to detention. He looked at it more closely. “Hey! it has a wire stuck on it!” he shouted. I watched him as he took the wire off and we both stared at it. There was a sign. It had a question mark and a toxic sign on it. We both knew it was dangerous. I took a small stick and put it on the tip so we wouldn’t get hurt.
As we were walking home, I saw a sign. Just the same as the sign we saw on the wire. I grabbed Oscars shoulder and told him to keep quiet.
“Keep quiet Oscar”
He saw the sign on the gate. We froze in horror as we looked at the sign. “Whoa” Whispered Oscar. I had to agree, it was shocking to look at the two signs. “Let’s go in!” grinned Oscar. I kicked his leg and said “No, we must find one of the maps that show us what that thing is in the treasure chest”. We ran home as quickly as possible, opening the door as we went in the house. Dad immediately stopped us from getting to the attic. We both showed him our angry faces as we raced past him. After Jumping up into the attic and landing on the old mattress, I found a key and unlocked the chest. Oscar helped me to open the heavy chest. We searched through the mountain of maps until we saw the map with the sign on and the building.
I ran forward despite the amount of maps falling on me. Oscar took a look of the dusty map. I admit, it was dusty, very dusty. He had to take a big blow before most of the dust came off. We could see a gate with barbed wires on and a stone path leading to an iron door. Then, the map was ripped. We could only see up to the door, we also saw hidden mines. “This could help us to get to the door”. I ran to my room picking up my spy back pack. In it were my spy goggles, a knife, a dart gun, and my satellite. We ran downstairs. Oscar filled up the water bottles while I made some sandwiches. Dad stared at us as if we were trying to escape. “where do you think you’re going?” said Dad.
Dad always took care of us. Our mother went to Australia to try and dig back here. She’s been there for ages, ever since we were three to four years old. Well, back to dad. He’s always taken care of us, even when we were angry. Sometimes though, he gets angry with us now and then. He has a job of engineering. He loves it. Always in a good mood when he’s doing it. Today was his turn to stay at home. Once, we played on my Xbox 360 all morning. I got detention because I didn’t do my homework. Well, he’s a happy chap. We have enough money to feed ourselves.
Back to the story,
We couldn’t answer that question. Then, Oscar did an I-know-a-cool-excuse-to-tell-dad-and-he-won’t-even-notice-it-is-an-excuse smile. While Oscar and dad talked to each other, I crept outside and ran to the gate. After a few minutes, Oscar arrived. “So, what did you tell him?” I said. “I said that we were going to explore and look for some interesting insects” he said. My heart beated as I smashed the lock. The gate opened.
To be continued
Parrots are good,
Parrots even could,
Parrots even should,
Parrots aren’t food,
Could eat carrots, one called Harrots, and the other one Jarrots,
Others may know, that parrots can show, their talent and go,
To say stuff like low,
Parrots go high,
Up to the sky,
So they can fly,
And say goodbye.
I felt the ground tumbling and the ships shaking. The Martian (or the monster) Shouted Doom!!! DOOM!!! Despite the ground tumbling, I raced to station 657391-7 where I found the spaceship. I went in and grabbed my suit case. I ran back, picked up the bag, opened it and held out my shooter 3000. I spat inside and got ready to shoot. 3 2 1 shoot!!! I shouted as my saliva shot out. Then, a huge boom destroyed the remaining ships. As the Martians body got destroyed The monster zoomed around laughing. I reached for a small potion and shot it at the zoomer. Pop! it didn’t hit! It shot a round tile with a giant balloon. I wished I could go home. Then, in a distance, I saw a huge rocket. Like the one I was in. I grabbed Jamie’s arm and raced down the hill. Behind, I could see it. It raced down the hill 10 times faster than me. We were so close; however, the zoomer was so close too. I jumped into the rocket and slammed the door shut. Everything went quiet. I couldn’t feel Jamie. I looked. Nobody was there. Jamie. I thought he had been eaten or killed. It couldn’t have been. I looked again. I suddenly heard a whimper. Jamie! He sat down under the controls all along.
I press the huge button and the countdown started. 5-4-3-2-1-Blast off!!! We raced upon the moon and saw earth. “I didn’t realize that earth was so beautiful” said Jamie.” I know,” I said. We landed on the junkyard near the space station where we saw our classmates. We slowly followed them back to the school bus. Mr Hench Shouted to us that he has been looking for us everywhere. We made a fantastic excuse to what we did. After some very long travelling, we came back to school. I said goodbye to Jamie as we went home. I stepped on the steps to open the door and then…
To be continued
Intergalactic mission 2